u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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