im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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