i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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