Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize