dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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