Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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