i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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