That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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