I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
