what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I AM VODKA MAN
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
