youre lurking in front of me
he was CRYING into my vagina
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
