also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
