Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
