i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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