i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
