there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
