I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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