dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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