So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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