either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
