I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Too much gin, very little bucket
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
