why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
