my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
