I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
