It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's shark week go big or go home
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
