Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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