I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
