We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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