If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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