At least make sure they are 18
Why
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
