so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
