It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
