Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
