Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
