I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
