how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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