My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
