Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
