Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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