we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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