Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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