She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
