People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
