Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
