I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
