can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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