lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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