You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
