Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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