hell yes lets make some ravioli
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
