You can't special order awesome
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
