Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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