How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
