Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
