Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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